Two years ago I was fired from a writing job at a software company. A few weeks later I fired my therapist.

My job, it turns out, was the root cause of most of my mental health issues. Therapy sessions where I had previously talked endlessly about how conflicted I felt, how insecure I felt, how unloved I felt — these sessions were suddenly uncomfortable because I had nothing to talk about. Life was suddenly just… good. It’s been that way ever since.

But here’s the thing: I’ve been racking my brains about quitting that job. I spent a weekend in a tailspin, trying to come up with plans to stay (my sincere apologies to a certain group text). I was convinced that I couldn’t quit a job that made me miserable, that didn’t align with my values, at a company where I had no long-term career goals. Alan Henry, who used to edit this site, wrote an article that I think about every week: The Company You Work For Is Not Your Friend. A Cult Tech Company Can Make You Forget This. You Shouldn’t.

It was fairly common for employees to joke that the company I’m talking about was a cult. Many jokes are funny because they’re not true; this wasn’t one of them. I’m not saying that the company’s leaders literally portrayed themselves as messianic figures — they didn’t (exactly). But this was a company that spent a lot of time talking about how unique its “values” were, how different those values made them from other companies, and how important its mission was to society at large. The company also spent a lot of time — and money — blurring the lines between coworkers and friendship.