A long-standing theory that describes a person’s ability to perform tangible and emotional tasks, the spoon theory, began as a tool for people with chronic illness to communicate with those who are not chronically ill. A newer theory, the fork theory, uses a different piece of cutlery to symbolize how external stressors can affect different people more intensely than others. Both of these cutlery theories can be applied to anyone, especially those of us who are on the verge of or already experiencing burnout.

The spoon theory originated in a restaurant: In an essay by Christine Miserandino, the author, who has lupus, explained to a friend that a chronic illness like lupus can make daily tasks harder because "the difference between being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or think consciously about things when the rest of the world doesn't have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift that most people take for granted." Each "unit of energy" is represented by a spoon. Some people have more spoons than others. If you have hundreds of spoons, then after showering, grocery shopping, answering your outstanding emails, and making dinner, you still have spoons (or energy) left over to meet up with friends later in the day. But if you only have five spoons, something needs to be done.

The fork theory comes from Jen Rosenburg, who wrote about it on her blog . She says, "The fork theory is that you have a fork limit, meaning you can probably get by just fine with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you're going to lose your shit if another fork comes along." Forks here are external stressors, like traffic, hunger, or a conflict with a loved one. Some forks are bigger than others, but at some point too many forks can bring you down. If you already have a fork from a chronic illness, a smaller fork like hunger might be enough to overcome your resolve, whereas for someone without the big fork stuck in there, the discomfort of hunger isn't as much of a problem.

Applying spoon theory to your life is an exercise in self-compassion. “Everyone has limited spoons to some extent, and everyone has a limit,” says Dr. Devon Price, a social psychologist, professor, and author of Laziness Does Not Exist. “I think the biggest utility of spoon theory is that it allows us to recognize which tasks in our lives take energy and how much energy they use.” But giving yourself the compassion that it’s okay to only have so much energy (so many spoons) is harder than counting spoons.