Kids can have a penchant for dramatics. Hyperbole like “I’m starving!” or “You’re the worst mother EVER!” is often thrown around. But one of the most disturbing things you can hear from your child is “I wish I was dead.” Even if you don’t think they mean it, it can be scary to hear your most beloved little human say something so destructive about themselves. You may want to let it go or tell them not to talk like that, but a couple of experts I spoke to—a counselor who specializes in teen suicide prevention and a pediatrician—say this is a phrase you should always address.

Your child lives in extremes: It’s either the best day ever or the worst. When someone takes their toy or insults them, it feels like the end of the world. They often express these big feelings in big ways because they don’t yet have the resources to express complex emotions. “In those moments, intense emotions like anger, sadness, and frustration can overwhelm children, and they may not have the vocabulary or emotional coping skills to express them accurately. Saying, ‘I wish I was dead,’ can be a way of screaming, ‘This hurts so much, I can’t stand it!’” says Dr. Daniel Ganjian, a board-certified pediatrician at Providence Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California. Saying the very last thing they can think of—that they want to die—is their way of communicating a need.

Children generally don’t understand what it means to die the way adults do. “Young children don’t fully understand the concept of death and permanence, but they still see it as falling asleep, passing away,” so saying they want to die “isn’t necessarily a way to harm themselves, but a way to express how bad they feel at that moment,” says Maureen Brogan, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in youth suicide prevention. Instead, kids are mimicking things they’ve heard others say in moments of intensity. “Children can pick up the phrase from the media, from friends or even from adults saying it casually,” Ganjian says. Still, both experts say that if your child says he or she wants to die or wishes he or she were dead, don’t dismiss it.

Even if you know for sure that your child is exaggerating, that they have no plans or serious thoughts about self-harm, you still shouldn’t let a statement like “I wish I was dead” slide. Ganjian says, “The key is this: Even if you suspect exaggeration, take ALL statements seriously.” There are several steps you should take in this scenario.